Imagine the euphoria of observing a beautiful brown foot long sinker with all its majestic substance contrasting the beautiful white backdrop of the porcelain bowl. The pursuit of the perfect poop is not always an easy one but is certainly one worth the mighty effort.
I am here today to start a poop movement! The topic of poop needs to move from the nuisances of our lives to a front row Hollywood show. Poops everywhere are here to speak up. They have been trying to tell you something for years but have you been listening?
Let’s open the bathroom doors and liberate the knowledge of learning a new language: poop reading.
Brown poop. Yes that is normal. Big surprise! Ever wonder about these others colours?
Black poop may be a red flag! When you have a digestive bleed originating in the stomach or esophagus it mixes with the acid of the stomach to make tarry black stools. Other less worrisome causes are iron supplements and bismuth compounds such as pepto bismol.
Red poop may be a red flag! When you have a digestive bleed originating below the stomach it will be red. This can be a sign of colon cancer and thus should be taken with a great level of attention! Irritable bowel diseases are also associated with bloody stools as are fissures or hemorrhoids- you should be checked out. The only time you can take a deep breath and relax about it is if you consumed some red beats! Beats have a magical way of making your poop a colourful experience. If this is the case enjoy the show.
White/Gray poop can be a sign of a bile duct blockage or liver disease. This is also not a colour to kid about.
Green poop can be OK or a pain in the butt. Don’t worry you will know the difference. Fever, abdominal pain and some diarrhea likely infectious in nature. I feel great but my poop is a tinge green? That’s great you are probably consuming quite a bit of spinach. As long as it’s digested there’s no need to worry. If it’s not digested then you may benefit from a little naturopathic digestive tune-up.
Yellow poop can be a sign of pancreatic disease. The pancreas produces enzymes critical for the proper digestion of fat. Sub-par functioning of the pancreas can lead to yellow poop.
Floaters- once in a while floaters are no big deal. Fat in the stool or gas can give your stool that little extra buoyancy. Nonetheless, if this is a consistent occurrence it can be a sign of chronic pancreatic insufficiency which means not enough enzymes are produced to break down the fat.
Sinkers– Yay, woohoo, great job! Keep it up!
Marble poop is due to poop glue deficiency! Poop glue?!?! Well when you ingest fiber it is fermented by bacteria that reside in your colon and it produces beautiful poop glue and lubrication. This keeps poop from breaking into pieces. For a lubricated and bulkier experience increase your dietary sources of fiber and water.
Soft poop not yet diarrhea but certainly not the hulk of poops either. This tends to be indicative of malabsorption. Some of the most common offenders are due to fructose, sorbitol, lactose in dairy, gluten in wheat or even more generalized food sensitivities. Removing the offending culprit is key.
Thin and windy poop may be a red flag! Progressively narrowing stool can be indicative of colon cancer! It may also be a simple sign of excessive straining. Go ahead relax and enjoy your poop experience- let it fall out instead of pushing it out.
Poop jam the most common cause is a simple case of dietary fiber and water “under consumption”. If that doesn’t do the trick, perhaps a hypoallergenic diet should be considered.
Diarrhea can be caused by a GI infection, malabsorption or food sensitivity.
Our poop is a great indicator to the health of our digestive system. Our digestive system is one of the most fundamental systems to our health, influencing seemingly unrelated systems such as the immune system, respiratory health, skin health and joint health. Just remember we are giant walking tubes from our mouth to our anus. The digestive track is a major system in which we interact with the outside world. It’s important we have it working as best we can! I wish you daily successes along your pursuit of perfect poos.
